Divine
by a. loquita
Summary: Carter turns to Teal’c to talk something out. Short tag to Chain Reaction. Gen fic/friendship


Title: Divine

Author: a. loquita

A/N: Special thanks to la_tante for the beta

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"The only thing necessary for the triumph of evil is for good men to do nothing." -Edmund Burke

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"_I have done things." Jacob looked into the eyes of his 9-year-old little girl, knowing this __conversation__was impossible. If he could, he would prevent her from ever understanding what he was talking about, but one day, she would lose her innocence. "Terrible things. And I can never accept it. But somehow I have to learn to live with it."_

"_Can't you ask God to forgive you?" Sam put forward, because after all, that's what Sister Mary Louise told them in Sunday school all the time. God forgives everyone._

_Jacob tried to blink back any sign of emotional weakness. If only things were as simple as they seem__ed__ in the eyes of a child. "I have asked many times for forgiveness, not only from God, but from men I've served with, from your __mother, and, one day, I'm__ sure I'll ask forgiveness from you."_

"_But why, Daddy?"_

"_Because I make mistakes. Everyone makes mistakes."_

"_Mistakes?" Sam crinkled her forehead in confusion. __"I thought you said you didn't do anything."_

"_Exactly." Jacob took her hand in his._

_She didn't understand half of what her father was saying tonight. But it really didn't matter, it was only important that he had come home. Reading books and playing games were things other dads did. Sam's dad came home, and that was enough._

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"Can I ask you something, Teal'c?"

"Of course, Major Carter."

"Did you think about leaving?"

Teal'c paused, the grape in his hand halted mid-air between his mouth and the overloaded lunch tray. If he was surprised by the question, his face didn't reveal it. Instead, he set the piece of fruit back down.

It had only been a few days since Bauer left the base with preverbal tail between his legs, Hammond had finally returned, and SG-1 was now reinstated. In Carter's opinion, Bauer's tail wasn't worth the dirt it dragged in, but she was military, she had orders, and she had to follow them. Teal'c, on the other hand…. "It's just that, I think the Colonel, Daniel, and I would have understood."

"That is a comfort to hear."

She sensed that there was more. There was always more when it came to Teal'c but over the years, she'd become adept at knowing when to leave it alone or not.

"But…" she prompted.

Teal'c sighed. Carter reconsidered. It wasn't so much a sigh as it was a subtle change in intensity of his attention to the food a moment ago, to a softness in the way his face and shoulders dropped just slightly. Other people would have sighed as they made that transition.

He finally spoke. "I, like you, was unimpressed with Bauer's leadership style."

"Putting people in harm's way unnecessarily, taking risks with life forms on other planets as well as our own, the pursuit of weapons over—"

"Indeed." Teal'c rarely interrupted anyone. And unlike the Colonel, when Teal'c cut her off, Carter never took offense. Teal'c didn't do it because he didn't want to hear something explained, he did it because he wished it didn't need to be spoken of.

"I felt my time with the Tau'ri was not yet over." Teal'c paused. "Why did you remain?"

"I thought about the men who worked on the Manhattan project. I thought about the fact that it's one thing to shoot another living creature in self-defense, it's another to…" Carter took a breath, "And then I realized that, ultimately, they would just replace me with someone who wouldn't question making a bomb."

Her eyes met his, blue eyes and brown representing totally different backgrounds, cultures, lifestyle, and yet, when it came to choices such as staying or walking away, they were exactly the same.

Carter added, "Besides, I had faith that the Colonel would eventually find a way to bring Hammond back."

"As did I."

"Still." There was a conversation from long ago replaying inside her head over the last few days, a memory Carter hadn't known she still carried until only recently. "My father taught me to ask for forgiveness, even when you don't think you deserve it."

The large hand that had held the grape when this conversation began, now reached across the table and took hers.

Carter looked down, remembering how small her hand had been inside her father's on that June night so long ago. Back when Jacob spoke of things she hadn't understood, and all Carter wanted to do was hug him and tell him she was glad he was home.

"You are forgiven, Major Carter."


End file.
